Functional and Dysfunctional Relationships

Functional and Dysfunctional Relationships: An Opinion

I think the first thing that needs to happen to answer this question is to define what a relationship is. A relationship, is defined by Oxford as, “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected”. It is important to distinguish each relationship we have as separate from people and things.

People form relationships with other people for many reasons: for companionship, for wealth, to fulfill a desire or a void, or for power and influence. Some relationships are born from circumstances that the individual found themselves obligatorily attached to; examples include mothers, fathers, siblings, and other familial attachments. Whether functional or dysfunctional, the relationship remains with the consent of the person continuing to progress the attachment after they become an adult.

A functional relationship with another person looks like drawing boundaries without question and being able to express one’s feelings with the other person in the relationship without judgment. Functional relationships do not have expectations and are not one-sided. Both persons in a functional relationship benefit from the companionship and experience joy or satisfaction from being in the relationship. Both members of the relationship are consenting members that focus on the present and the future with optimism. These things can be encouraged with an open mind, a pure heart, patience, kindness, and effort.

A dysfunctional relationship with another person can be toxic. It can take away your joy and your energy. Allowing a dysfunctional relationship to exist can cause a person to live in fear, dissatisfaction, sadness, and even depression. These relationships are draining and can take the attention away from all there is to be grateful for in the present tense. Dysfunctional relationships tend to dwell on the past and the future focusing on only the negativity. In the present, one or both people in the relationship focus on power, wealth, or influence. Dysfunctional relationships can be manipulative. Neither person in this relationship feel validated or heard and the relationship becomes more dysfunctional each time either person attempts to communicate candidly. We encourage dysfunctional relationships very easily by putting in very little to no effort or allowing them to simply exist. These relationships are not a requirement. They do not need to exist.