An open letter to my husband

A friend of mine recently bought a second hand laptop from a busy garage sale, the seller said that the thing won't turn on. Being the nerd that he is, my friend got it working and found a strange letter saved on it. He mailed it to me after I asked him if I could share it here. So here goes:

I'm writing to you to tell you that I know everything that you do not want me to know. I know you must dread hearing this- especially coming from me, but I really need you to listen to what I have to say.

A few years ago I watched you come home every night smelling of alcohol with your eyes drooling out of their sockets, I waited for you, resolute to see you arrive safely. Yet you never so much as muttered a quick greeting into my direction and you always just went straight to your computer where you started gaming sessions that persisted into early mornings. You even fell asleep at the desk sometimes like an old bum, leaving me isolated in that bed that felt far too big for me alone.

I watched you not care about your persona, and I understood it to an extend. Many articles online claim that people tend to let themselves go because they don't expect their partners to lose attraction, and we have been together for 13 years after all. I stomached your disgusting habits and bad odour, because I care for you.

You tested my patience a few months ago when I watched you not come home at all until morning and as stalkery as it may sound, I followed you sometimes. Lurking outside the pubs that you entered, I watched through the windows as you took the same seat in the dark corner every night and ordered one beer after the other until you passed out. Bartenders took pity on you 'cause for some reason they never once threw you out.

And then last month I followed you again, expecting for your nightly routine to be the same. But it wasn't. There you sat at the bar with your posture more confident than before while you spoke to a beautiful woman seated next to you. Needless to say, you shattered my heart that night and as I sat in the car outside so many questions passed me. How could I have been so stupid as to let things go this far? Your attraction to me had become questionable, but how could I not think to do something about it? You were the person I was meant to spend forever with, but this betrayal made me certain that you were a mistake.

I hated you after that, even though I never hated you directly. Through my bitterness I made sure you had only freezing showers when you came home at night, I replaced your fresh sandwiches with rotten ones when I had the chance, I dumped half a liter of cat piss on your side of the bed and I pulled the covers from your body every night.

Then the day came that changed everything. You woke up sober and dressed neatly, even went so far as to shave your face and this suspicious behaviour had me trailing you once more as soon as you left the house. I watched from afar as you bought nice flowers and what seemed to be a picnic basket, of course you were preparing to meet her and that was something I didn't want to watch. But something made me follow you still. You took me by surprise as your journey led into the cemetery, I kept my distance as you paused near a grave for what seemed like hours. It took me a considerate amount of time to recognize the tears on your cheeks, 'cause I swear I had never seen you cry before. You left the flowers on the grave and walked away with the basket still in hand. I went home after that, I didn't need to see anymore.

I'm in the kitchen as I'm writing this on your laptop and you're in the bathroom. It's nearly 1:30 and that woman I saw you with at the bar is still sound asleep in our bed. But I understand it now, Matthew. Now I know why you're sobbing faintly in the bathroom and why my name stood on that gravestone. I understand and I forgive you, you can stop grieving now and be with that stranger on my side of the bed with a clear mind. Just remember that I'll be near and watching over you as I always had, for once your lifetime ends you'll belong to me again."

The laptop has refused to turn on after I got this copy.