I live in La Paz, almost 8,000 km from Los Angeles, so I tried everything: a rooftop slingshot, a portal drawn on my bedroom wall (it led to my shower), shipping myself in a box by drone (I landed on a llama), a homemade rocket, a cable car that ran out of cable, an Andean condor that dropped me in the Salar de Uyuni, and the classic tunnel painted on a brick wall. Classic cartoon physics, zero dialogue, one deadpan look to camera after every crash.